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18 Feb '07-16:40
the circle game

I Don't Blame You - Cat Power

Chemicals suck. I learned that lesson the hard way a couple months ago. But, last night and this morning reminded me that a good old fashioned drinking binge can have pretty much the same after-effects, without the serious risks to your body. I went out with a couple guy friends last night, just havin a few beers and playing poker, video games and such... And I tried to keep up with them. In fact, I was beating them for a while... But then, I realised I was in over my head and the rest of the night I spent on the bathroom floor and with a bucket beside the bed. The past two times I've drank, I've puked. I think this is a sign for me to slow down. Stephen always used to tell me when I should slow down or stop drinking... He knew my limits, now I guess I'm learning them on my own. And it hurts. I'm still pretty hung over. And all I've had to eat in two days is some crackers. This whole... "getting better, getting back on my feet" thing, isn't really working out the way I planned...

But, it's been four days since I talked to Stephen. He hasn't called me yet and I know deep down he probably won't even though he said he would. Well, he won't until he gets lonely. Haha. Maybe after he gets back from his vacation with his family he'll want to hang out, but I am not going to let myself call him at least until he gets back. Just two and a half weeks until then. That will be the longest I've ever gone without talking to him pretty much since I met him.

But, my new outdoor education class is turning out to be pretty cool. And when I say cool, I mean fucking COLD!!! We're outside pretty much everyday in the snow. If this course doesn't kill me, it might be really good for me.


That's Dylan out on our second day. It was -22 outside and we were standing around all day watching the nordic ski races and helping organize it. I had no toes or fingers by the end of the day. And the day after that we were building Quinzhees at the school and we fit 10 people into one of them! It was pretty cool. I mean cold.

¶ - By abby in Weekends

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