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16 Mar '07-18:21
rip out your heartstrings

Neon - John Mayer

I don't even know where to begin. I'm having one of those weeks where time just kinda slides by without you even noticing or caring at all really. Stephen's in the hospital. Yeah, I know. I called him up the other day, just to say hey, I was feeling a bit down... His sister answered the phone, and shocked the hell outa me when she said he was in the hospital. I drove to town to maybe visit him, I was kinda freaking out, and didn't know what I was doing. I have this strange fear of hospitals... I hate them. Hate the smell, the way people act, the long hallways, the wallpaper, I just cannot stand them!! But, I went in there on auto-pilot and asked to see him, they told me to go to the 3rd floor, but when I got up there and saw he was in the ICU, I had to hold myself up against a wall to try and stop myself from freaking out. In the end, I never got to see him... But, he called me from the hospital last night and said he was alright... He said he'd call me again today to let me know how he's doing.

I think I'm getting to a point where I'm living a completely different life than I'm used to, and I'm somehow becoming desensitized to the stupid things I do. I'm just kinda numb to all the crap in my life now. I'm glad though. It may sound like a bad thing, but I hate the way I'm so god damned overly-emotional, so maybe being numb is just what I need. Hey, it's what Stephen always wanted from me. And this way I can have all the fun I want and not give a damn.


Bah... I'll update more when I can think better. Words are becoming difficult to form...

¶ - By abby in Daily Blah

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